While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
