help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
