Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
