You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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