is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
