Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
