Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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