Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
