Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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