Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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