I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
