her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he told me I talked like a deaf person
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
