You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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