need another drink. this is the easiest way
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
