I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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