after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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