thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
