i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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