We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
