"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
