I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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