Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
