every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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