It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
