I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
