Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
