you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
