Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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