Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
