and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
