my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
