I'm jealous of your bromance
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
