Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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