Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
