a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
