I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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