i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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