Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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