you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i now understand why vodka
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
