seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
