Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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