I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
