i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
