btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
