I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
