Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
