Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
