So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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