I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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