what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
